Resurfaced comments in which new House Speaker Mike Johnson talked about how he and his son monitor each other’s online activity using “accountability software” have raised questions about national security.
Johnson, a Republican who was first elected to Congress in 2016, spoke in 2022 about how he installed software called Covenant Eyes on his devices during a panel called “War on Technology” at Cypress Baptist Church in Benton, Louisiana, Rolling Stone reported.
According to a clip first posted on X, formerly Twitter, by a user called Receipt Maven, Johnson spoke about how the subscription-based service helps people abstain from internet porn and “objectionable” websites.
I thought this was overblown at first glance but reading into it…
From Wikipedia:
Accountability software typically functions by continuously making screenshots of the user’s mobile phone or computer screen and monitoring their internet traffic. It checks both for keywords (such as “gay” or “porn”) and images associated with the behavior the software is intended to detect.
So like even if the Speaker is on a VPN securely viewing classified material, if it’s on his phone or laptop, Covenant Eyes now has screenshots of it. That is very much a breech of national security if that is happening.
Holy balls, it costs almost as much as Netflix ($204/year) and all it does is spy on you?! I’m not an evil man but these idiots ask for this service. I wish I’d thought of it.
it costs almost as much as Netflix ($204/year)
LMAO what?! My god, it could not be more obvious that every single anti-porn crusader out there has serious issues with self-control and project it onto the rest of society. And let’s not even get into the fact that they have a ridiculously unhealthy understanding of human sexuality.
Casually browses fetish porn knowing that I’m not the only one while knowing I’m not in the majority.
Actually fetish porn is around because it’s a billion dollar a year industry. You’re not only not the only one enjoying it, you ARE in the majority of men who watch such things. And why not? It’s there for that very purpose.
ridiculously unhealthy
I would argue that they don’t understand human sexuality. Point blank.
This, they have been indoctrinated into “original sin” where everything is bad (especially most all sexuality outside of a male and female in a government-issued wedlock) and must be controlled, even if purely natural given by their “God”.
I’m in the wrong business.
Sorry, $204/yr is not enough for me to keep tabs on someone else’s festishes. Especially not those of a Republican congressman.
Don’t forget all the wonderful hush payments for not leaking certain screen shots and user information.
Sure, but MDM software is easy enough to make into a product that does this service on autopilot. And it sounds like the people moderating the content are the users themselves. Genius!
Go to a church and ask for volunteers to help–no, to fulfill their duty!–with this holy war against digital sin.
I’m sure there’s no chance that a “Christian-based surveillance company” is mishandling the data they collect in insecure or nefarious ways.
Fun fact: Before starting his weird anti-porn spyware company the CEO of Covenant Eyes, Ronald DeHaas, worked as a geologist for Chevron in the 70s. In fact, he’s still helping to destroy the planet by working as a consultant for the petroleum industry. He never actually stopped. So he’s always been an unscrupulous P.O.S.
Why always get the gays involved? I swear, these people are obsessed with penises and projecting at this point.
I mean I’m a straight woman, I watched one video just because I was curious about the practicality of things and was too embarrassed to harass a gay friend about it.
But when I want to get horny now, it doesn’t even cross my mind. Even though there was one scene with Nick Offerman that was really hot in The Last of Us.
So major projection from these people.
Some Christian men talk about “SSA” (same sex attraction) and their struggle to “resist the temptation”. As a non-repressed straight man, this is not something I’ve ever dealt with. I feel bad that these people are so indoctrinated and intimidated by their weird-ass culture that they can’t just relax and go grab a dick.
It’s because Christianity (and by nature, offshoots of it) was, and still is, a means of control.
Let’s not forget the roots of Christianity was from when it was a literal cult; you were considered a part of the Christian Cult if you practiced Christianity before iirc either Theodosius or Constantine became the Roman Emperor and made it into the state religion. Christmas was also stolen from Sol Invictus as a means to help bridge the transition into Christianity.
Not to mention the fact that America was founded by puritans who were kicked out of Britain for not being allowed to oppress everyone around them.
Constantine. Allegedly had a vision/dream where he was told to put either a chi-rho or tau-rho symbol on his shields ahead of the Battle of the Milvian Bridge, and after victory he converted, with the rest of the Roman Empire following his lead.
Not to mention yuletide cheer comes from Wicca.
That’s exactly what it is, a major projection of their own inner sexual turmoil. Whether they are closeted homosexuals or not, and really in the case of Mike Johnson I hope he isn’t because I don’t want him among us LGBTQ folks, they definitely are projecting some hugely enormous interest in the sex behaviors and genitalia of other dudes. As a gay man - I’m kind of in awe of their penchant for penis worship.
The thing is, being a closeted homosexual isn’t even a binary thing. Everyone’s sexuality is a little bit fluid. I seriously believe that most of these people are bothered by the fact that they don’t find the male form completely repulsive, or by the idea that they may even have romance-adjacent feelings about another man without necessarily wanting to bottom for them.
These people aren’t closeted, they are just repressed. It’s like living among a group of people who insist that the color orange doesn’t exist and shame anyone who says they can see it. Obviously everyone sees orange, and choosing to live with the cognitive dissonance of orangephobics is incredibly stressful.
I totally agree, everyone has the capacity for a spectrum of sexual feelings and/or behaviors, but some men never acknowledge that and keep their homo feelings way too oppressed. The concept of having to find men “completely repulsive” for example - what a terrible way to view humanity and have to go through life. They are definitely repressed by their own fears and the phobic society around them. But being gay I have found that it’s so much easier and better than being in the closet, if others don’t like it - that’s their f#ckin problem.
Fear of bigger dicks, I think. The opposite is their obsession with BBCs with white women. Not a psychologist, arm-chair opinion.
All this monitoring and over monitoring of what people are looking at online. Honestly if people aren’t trolling for underage sex hookups or trying to encourage gross behaviors online, who the hell cares what people look at. Covenant Eyes - that name just says it all about the hypocrisy of religious zealotry. You can be happy! You can be free! Just do what the hell we tell you and don’t you DARE look at anything we don’t approve of, you born sinner and miserable wretch!!! WE’RE WATCHING YOU!!! Because Jesus would want us to.
If it’s high enough classification, he would not have access on his personal phone though.
The risk does not stop at the line of classification. Comms for example, anyone he texts or is texted to those screens are taken and stored off.
It is a risk to national security, period. It’s a fuckin social engineering jackpot for fucks sake.
If he is following proper protocols and procedures: Yes
If he were following proper protocol, he wouldn’t willingly install spyware in the first place.
And unless he is VERY strictly separating his work and his personal devices, there is inevitable leakage. Even something as simple as getting too close to the line on “So I need to fly out to Nevada to check out these weather balloon things and make sure everything is fine” and so forth.
But also? All of this is publicly available information. At a high level, there are two kinds of classified material. Stuff that is classified by specific rules and are generally based on science and technology. And the other is “national security” and is more or less anything a bureaucrat thinks is important.
So the POTUS liking two shots of soy milk in his coffee is not classified because soy milk and coffee are not classified. But if it is decided that “terrorists” might attack the soy milk supply chain? Suddenly there is an argument that that information is sensitive.
And there are a LOT of arguments to be made regarding the Speaker of the House’s personal ties and vulnerabilities becoming “sensitive”.
Right, even if he had access to classified information in an unsecured space, the classified system would have its own encryption device and its own systems separate from the unclassified network.
That’s only part of it though. Another component is that anyone having access to his personal devices --let alone his porn habits-- potentially has compromising information on him. Once he’s compromised, he’s a national security threat, full stop.
What if he’s having an affair and there’s evidence of it on his phone? What if he’s doing other shady shit that involves not having a bank account? You better believe the Russians and/or the CCP would love to have compromat on the Speaker.
Sure, but there’s probably already plenty of ways to compromise these idiots.
Imagine needing spying accountability software to not watch gay porn. These weird homophobes really are the gayest of them all.
Oh, no, it’s the porn that’s the problem, just being there all hot and gay.
Yeah, god forbid the hot gayness leap out at unsuspecting homophobes! Better get some STRONG software to keep it at bay, instead of just, you know, just NOT BROWSING PORN SITES
The thing is he’s admitting he has a problem he can’t control. Just not doing a thing is the reasonable approach for people who have self control.
It also is an admission that the GOP’s preferred solution to temptation is doomed. Just Say No to drugs. Abstinence-only birth control. But he needs to subscribe to a service to keep him from watching porn.
A lot of gay porn, like much straight porn, is really hot. I’m gay but some straight porn I’ve seen is really incredible. No one will ever convince me that enjoying people having sexual pleasure together is wrong, bad, indecent, immoral, or grotesque (unless it involves watching trump or mike johnson engage in it - which would be my definition of gross indecency).
“Lord grant me strength…dammit Lord your strength is not enough!! What I really need is an ever present entity that I pay a monthly tithe to, constantly watching over me, judging my every move!!”
I think everyone should be allowed to watch all the gay porn they want. Even Mike Johnson.
So does Mike’s Johnson
Nice!
I think Mike Johnson should be forced into a chair with his eyelids clamped open ala Clockwork Orange and have to watch orangutans having gay sex mixed with scenes of apocalyptic nuclear mushroom clouds and teenagers jerking the wooden pole while making lemonade at Hot Dog on a Stick.
I’m pretty certain something like that is what made him the way he is.
Sounds like a John Waters movie.
I’d pay a dollar to see that movie.
So do I. I watch both gay and straight AND SIDEWAYS porn! (whatever that is). Relax people - it’s just sex!!
“We have to ensure that America stays a Christian nation, a righteous nation. And sometimes that means helping to hold each other accountable, like two men holding each other in the bathtub after passionately making love with their fists. This means we need to be vigilant in filtering out all the sinful websites from our web browsers. Websites like twinktube.com, blackdickswhitebussies.com, cockgoblins.com, buttholeinvasion.com, footlongdong.com, and so, so many others.”
So why do I feel more fist fucked after being molested by Christian beliefs than I ever feel after tub sex making love with our fists…
If I weren’t already gay, I’d start watching gay porn just to overload the spying software and get under the skin of the homophobes out there. Really it’s NOBODY ELSE’S GOD DAMN BUSINESS what I watch or look at online. The only other person in the whole universe I’m accountable to besides myself is…NOBODY. I don’t owe anyone else an explanation for anything I look at for any reason at any time.
I grew up in the far right evangelical Christian church and watching people’s horror when they hear little tidbits about how fucked up it is always entertaining to me. I know a bunch of people who use the same software on their computers.
Triggering the apocalypse? Yes please!
Triggering an orgasm? Satan’s work.
Is it usually at the wives’ insistance?
For married men that usually seems to be the case. For anyone else its usually at the insistence of their men’s group.
Creeps all around, yikes. I get the idea but damn is there no way to make this any less a ticking time bomb in every instance
This is totes a cult’s way to get incriminating info on dudes
Wait, this dude is such a deviant he needs to install software on his own devices to keep him away from porn?
Let me guess, his wife once found gay porn on his computer, and he said he didn’t know anything about it and did the typical conservative “doth protest too much” thing and decided that paying for a porn filter would give him cover to keep looking at porn?
Do these people really think they are fooling anyone?
That’s a possibility or he’s using it in an attempt to control his son.
this shit is so fucking creepy and insane. if literal receipts about the porn i look at came up in a family conversation for any reason whatsoever my brain would melt and explode. how are these freaks so outwardly successful but behind closed doors they’re spying on their son’s porn viewing??
he doesn’t even have any particular juice or charisma! he’s just white and clean shaven and wears a button down so give him the fucking keys to congress, jesus fucking christ
Don’t forget, he shares his porn with his son too!
I wonder if he also shares his porn viewing with his black “adopted” “son”
I wonder if he was particular in that the adopted child had to be black?
You better believe it, need the poc x-factor
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*Habits. He shares his porn habits with his son as an accountability measure. Still only slightly less weird though…
I mean, the point of it is to deter you from looking at porn in the first place.
Which is like trying to keep the ocean from the shore using a toothpick. Men will always seek out porn even if they have to draw it themselves. It’s actually healthy for us and it’s also quite important to us in other ways.
Does he so desperately want to look at porn that he needs this? How about will power?
Who the fuck are these people.
I cannot imagine being so pathetic that I need a subscription to help me not watch porn. But even if I were, how hard is it to just set up parental security password, and ask someone else to set it for you so you don’t know what the password is. What a moron.
I suspect it’s more about virtue signaling. It’s not that he needs people to keep him from watching porn. He needs people to know that he’s not watching porn.
Id bet hes got a financial stake in it, or at least is scratching someones back who does.
A grifting Republican?! Inconceivable!
Imagine thinking “porn addiction” is a real thing and not something Jordan Peterson made up to sell transphobia to incels
I’m sure it is a real thing, literally everything can become an addiction if you consistently feed the wrong patterns to your brain.
Actual psychopaths.
sounds like a publicity stunt gone wrong
All the fucking cybersecurity bullshit I gotta go to as a network admin for a federal contractor and the baddies can just have some tech illiterate federal representative install whatever back doors they want on their personal computers under the guise of morality or whatever.
Hello fellow admin.
Feel the same way. The most secure network is only as secure as its dumbest user.
Sadly we’re still a couple hundred years off of that being less of a concern :/.
The worst sites for security tend to be church/religious websites. I bet its the same for apps.
So God is a supernatural, omniscient, all-seeing entity that can speak directly into your mind, but you still need to pay a company $20/month to snoop on your devices for “accountability” so that you don’t look at all that very tempting gay porn on the internet.
Ok…
Ah yes, makes total sense. Similarly… The universe stretches to unfathomable distances, countless trillions of stars, and the god of all this … somehow cares whether you jack off to porn or not. Riiiiight.
Actually, no.
The universe stretches to unfathomable distances, countless trillions of stars, and the god of all this … somehow cares about you at all.
This would be like you caring about an ant. I’m not talking about ants in general. I’m talking about you caring about one specific ant, located in one specific anthill, in a cabin in the middle of the woods. In Russia. To the point where you’ve written an entire book on how that ant should be living its life.
Yeah, I keep up with all the ants. And if they touch their ant penises, straight to ant hell.
Or if they use social media while living in Utah. DAMN THOSE ANTS TO HELL AND BACK AGAIN. Unless they are paying their tithing to the church.
I agree with your definition of god as the unfathomable force that stretches the universe out infinitely in all directions. And possibly that created all of this. But, I don’t believe such a thing is an entity with any feelings. I believe the tangible manifestation of such an entity is in everything that results from it, in all the rocks and pebbles and grains of sand and blades of grass that occur as a result. And thus to me, every ant is valuable and sacred. But not because that entity cares what I do - because that ant is a piece of something much more important and brilliant out there.
Sounds like God is pretty clearly telling him to watch gay porn and he’s doing his best to not listen.
Look, God created Mike Johnson in their own image, and that image is a man who has a healthy obsession with girthy, throbbing cocks. Sometimes more than one. Usually more than one.
I doubt God cares where people put their penises or direct their keyboard searches. If such a god is out there - I can’t imagine anything less likely to consume his/her/its attention than what people do sexually or what they enjoy watching. Even if it is something we humans deem morally wrong - I doubt he/she/it really gives a godly $hit about it all.
This dude is super creepy and I hate he’s in congress, much less the speaker, but does anyone feel like the other headline “monitors each others porn activities” purposely makes it seem like they’re each reviewing the porn they each do look at and making sure isn’t toooo skeevy? Like it’s weird enough, do you have to push it?
Made me picture them high fiving each other the next day, “yeah buddy! I saw that one, too. Nice.”
I think the headline’s intent is more “what did he get caught doing which prompted the need for him to buy a porn blocker for his own machine?”
Like, nobody in the world does that unless someone caught them looking at porn.
“Does he have weird third-party monitoring software on his government phone?” is what the headline is referencing, that’s a massive problem. Confidential info could end up who-knows-where if it was sniffed.
makes it seem like they’re each reviewing the porn they each do look at and making sure isn’t toooo skeevy?
Yes. But probably because I look at porn, I would take it to mean I’m telling my friends what porn I’m looking at. Whereas they are doing it to show each other that they’re not looking at any porn at all.
It’s bad enough living in Utah where you’re expected to “live the word of the Covenant” every day or be damned. People showing up at our doors to ask what we’re looking at online to make sure we’re living the word of Jesus. Jesus! For Christ’s sake, what do I care about jesus!!! Can you imagine anything more horrible than having to be monitored by someone else who thinks you’re not up to the “lord’s” standards!!!
To HELL with that nonsense. It’s one reason I’m not just non-religious but actively anti-Mormon. Oh sure these mormon assholes think they’re made of sunshine and Jesus’ farts, but in reality they’re just as sleazy, bent, evil, contemptible, and manipulative as anyone else. Moreso in fact. People are not “saints.” They aren’t supposed to be. And no well-adjusted mentally healthy person would ever WANT to be. So to hell with this monitoring each other bullshit.
People showing up at our doors to ask what we’re looking at online to make sure we’re living the word of Jesus.
What? That’s not really happening is it?
It definitely happens in Utah. The social rules are very different behind the Zion Curtain
Welcome to Murica. Land of the free, as long as you do what we tell you to do.
I’m in America and have never witnessed people going door to door asking to check your Internet history!
Same here. I’m just taking the piss. But I’ve never met Christian fundamentalists anywhere in the world like the ones we got here!
Come to Utah and see how extreme Christian fundamentalism can get. They make the Nazis look like friendly hippies by comparison.
Have you lived in Utah? Here we aren’t even allowed access to porn sites and now they’re shutting down access to most social media sites also. “It’s harming our youth,” the scream. And yet, so far, they’ve never actually asked any youth how they feel about using those sites or if they feel harmed by them.
But then again, in Utah conservative republicanism is the ONLY political party that exists. There is no “democrat” option, you can’t register to vote unless you register as a republican. And the mormon church DOES monitor what you do and what you say. You go against the church here, they will utterly ruin your life as they are in control of all the media and all the banks and news outlets.
Have you lived in Utah?
Nope, I’m in Wyoming. We have lots of Mormons but they haven’t, as of yet, taken the place over.
Here we aren’t even allowed access to porn sites and now they’re shutting down access to most social media sites also.
That seems like a bit of an over statement. My understanding is that you CAN access porn sites but that an age verification requirement will go into effect next year. Same with Social Media stuff, minors can still get access but they’ve got to get parental permission. To be clear I don’t agree with either of these but it’s not like Utah is rebuilding the Great Firewall of China and clipping access completely.
There is no “democrat” option, you can’t register to vote unless you register as a republican.
Now hold on a minute. That CANNOT be true, Utah not only has an official Democratic Party but there’s Legislators who belong to it!
You go against the church here, they will utterly ruin your life as they are in control of all the media and all the banks and news outlets.
I’ve heard that one before and don’t doubt that it’s true.
If you live in Wyoming - well, that’s cool, but it’s such a conservative state also, it’s another place with restrictive laws. Yes Utah has an official democratic party, true - but good luck finding it. One member on the Legislature - that’s like one drop of purity in an ocean of putrification. Might as well not even be there. It sucks wanting to have more democratic representation here. However I do appreciate your feedback!
Exactly. You’re free, but only so long as you follow our model of what freedom is - don’t go around looking for your own answers or reading books. That’s the devil’s ding-dong diddley a-doins.
Well it’s close to it. They don’t actually come look at what we’re browsing, but missionaries show up and ask if we’re making sure we’re doing the “lord’s work” on our computers. I usually say yes - the lord wants me to be searching for gay porn, it’s what Jesus would want. (I’ve never said that but I certainly would love to).
Could an HOA in Utah (or a similar [busy]body) actually enforce shit like this?
Edit: or, like, condos?
You’ve no idea what’s it’s like. Remember the movie “Stepford Wives?” Everyone has a placid “everything is fine” look on their face because the church demands it here - conform, or suffer the consequences. I’ve seen so many lives destroyed by the mormons. They framed a mormon friend of mine over some joke he made, they turned him into the police as a child molester (because his wife does operate a child care center) and they trumped up charges, and took his property away from him. Yet in court he was found absolutely not guilty of any wrong doing - yet by then, his life was utterly ruined. You think Mormons are Saints? Guess again.
How is that not appealable?
The courts and the HOAs are run by mormons. So is the boy scouts, and girl scouts. And almost all social systems. It’s like being in a prison with walls everywhere you turn. You really have to live here to see how frightening it is.
So you may ask why I don’t leave - it’s because my elderly parent is here and I’m the only child dumb enough to stay in Utah and take care of her. She’s not moveable due to medical problems. I will not discuss my future plans here because I’m sure they do watch what I type and say online. But it’s pretty impossible to get out of Utah once you’re part of it.
Just like random neighbors doing random checkups on people, or like they know somehow what you’re looking at and are confronting you about it? Those are pretty different.
We’ve had mormon missionaries come to our door and insinuate that they know whether we’re doing the lord’s work or not and that they can have us jailed just on suspicion of not doing the lord’s work alone.
Former fundie here. Y’all are probably misinterpreting what is going on.
Mike Johnson is a True Believer™ from what I’ve seen. Doesn’t mean he’s not a terrible person, but his motives and actions aren’t necessarily as simple as repressed urges to view gay porn.
The most likely explanation is that Mike Johnson’s son was watching porn and got caught, probably more than once. He probably admitted his guilt early on, but he attempted to hide the activity. So, not only do you have the kid for sexual immorality but you’ve got him for dishonesty. After hours of lectures at the boy - involving his mother, father, possibly clergy or youth leadership - the poor kid is probably swearing on a stack of bibles that he sees the light and will never do it again. That’s not good enough. He can’t be trusted as this isn’t the first time.
This passage was probably pounded in bone deep:
Matthew 5:
27Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: 28But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. 29And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. 30And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
So, the boy should rip out his own eyes and cut off the hand he jacks off with. Maybe he should castrate himself. If the behavior continues, he’s willfully hellbound. Doesn’t he understand?
So, Mike Johnson, wonderful paragon of fatherly leadership, says they will both install this software. That way he can prove what a good person he is and bear the cross of his son’s sin. See how great he is? He’s helping the boy with his problem. Barf.
So, now the kid’s ‘sin’ is making national news and impacting his father who is a Great Man™.
Christian guilt in a nutshell.
I really feel for the poor bastard. Hopefully he makes it out from under the shadow of his father’s insanity. It’s truly evil shit.
It’s one thing if you want to subject your personal/private online life to a sort of virtual panopticon, but if you want to also look at classified material while also letting your morality cops peep over your shoulder, that should be disqualifying. Under no circumstance should a device with spyware on it have access to anything like classified material
Agreed. What also bothers me is that he admitted to having his 17 year old son be his accountability partner. He really couldn’t find anyone else? It had to be his underage son? That’s weird, yo
Given christian track records? Him being underage might have been the point.
If Mike Johnson puts that spyware on his work computer… .
If you need to buy a 200usd/year service to make sure you don’t look at gay porn you are definitely not gay
Sounds like you’re just sitting there with all that gay porn that could be freely browsed at anytime. You sure you’re not the gay one? With all that hot, sweaty gay porn that is only a click away. The temptation waking you in the middle of the night. Stopping the blood from rushing to your penis every time you think about it.
God you’re gay.
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This is Luther my porn checker. Dosnt quite have the same ring as Luther the anger translator.
