I met my wife through PoF, but this is exactly how Id describe dating apps. They are so designed to keep you checking the app constantly, pay for premium features and feel awful about yourself. In my situation it really was the only way I could meet anyone (was in my rotations of grad school, working 12 hour days), but the apps were like measurably depressing me
Glad it worked out for you guys in the end. There has to be a better way. I usually tell folks to get involved with mixed groups that are activity-based. There’s all kinds of volunteer groups, athletics clubs, and hobby groups out there. Go where the people are, the group activity is a great ice breaker, and then hope to find someone in the group (or network with it to find someone). It’s much better than praying to the app gods through the phone, IMO.
The biggest thing to ne is it can be misguided to join those types of groups when your in a position to be looking for a partner. In general, its great to be involved in activity/hobby groups, and if you find your partner there thats wonderful. But if you are joining just to find a partner, thats where things can get really disappointing and youre not exactly there for the right reason. At the time I was involved in more than enough hobby and activity groups, and didnt need to join more only for to be ‘just there to meet women’. That is the element (in theory) thats good about dating apps. Im there to meet potential partners. Im not pretending to be interested in pottery just to meet a cute girl. Im on the app with a goal of meeting a partner, and want to talk to people who also want to meet a partner. Obviously people and app devs use dating apps for other purposes. But when you are busy with work, school, and have enough hobbies and activities, having something thats very straightforward about wanting to find a partner was a lot more direct way to find someone.
I met my wife through PoF, but this is exactly how Id describe dating apps. They are so designed to keep you checking the app constantly, pay for premium features and feel awful about yourself. In my situation it really was the only way I could meet anyone (was in my rotations of grad school, working 12 hour days), but the apps were like measurably depressing me
Glad it worked out for you guys in the end. There has to be a better way. I usually tell folks to get involved with mixed groups that are activity-based. There’s all kinds of volunteer groups, athletics clubs, and hobby groups out there. Go where the people are, the group activity is a great ice breaker, and then hope to find someone in the group (or network with it to find someone). It’s much better than praying to the app gods through the phone, IMO.
The biggest thing to ne is it can be misguided to join those types of groups when your in a position to be looking for a partner. In general, its great to be involved in activity/hobby groups, and if you find your partner there thats wonderful. But if you are joining just to find a partner, thats where things can get really disappointing and youre not exactly there for the right reason. At the time I was involved in more than enough hobby and activity groups, and didnt need to join more only for to be ‘just there to meet women’. That is the element (in theory) thats good about dating apps. Im there to meet potential partners. Im not pretending to be interested in pottery just to meet a cute girl. Im on the app with a goal of meeting a partner, and want to talk to people who also want to meet a partner. Obviously people and app devs use dating apps for other purposes. But when you are busy with work, school, and have enough hobbies and activities, having something thats very straightforward about wanting to find a partner was a lot more direct way to find someone.