Sorry to hear. Best wishes, friend.

Thanks so much for recommending both books. I will be sure to give both a read soon.

Interesting point of view. Honestly I guess I am kinda broken in that regard, I miss the constant fixations a lot, I feel so bored and helpless when I have nothin’ to focus on. it does sound to me like your hope is ultimately to control that, in which case I wish you the absolute best.