I actually found that book and managed to download a copy. I’ll start reading it tomorrow.

I’ve definitely noticed times when I’ve been in each of these states. I’ll give breaking things down into “Thoughts, Feelings, Behavior” a try too.

Thanks again for all the advice and information, it’s been really helpful!

Thanks, I use most of these techniques too. The bottom-up process you mentioned for writing is really helpful for a lot of things. I used to write documentation for work, and writing things down as if I were explaining them to someone else, like you suggested, is a great way to see things as a whole. I’ve started using a journal in the same way, just collecting my thoughts and trying to put them all together. Exercise has been a game changer. I’ve started running in the mornings and evenings, as well as lifting weights. I hate to admit it, but the exercise people were right lol

I’m still learning about what they are, and I also have ADHD, which complicates things. I usually don’t pay attention to how I’m feeling, and until recently, I used to just react without really thinking. I was reading about ADHD and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, and I can see that this is definitely contributing to my situation. It’s more about judgments and exclusions, and less about rejection and criticism. I don’t mind being made fun of; I just want to be accepted.

Thank you. This is important, but I need to process it.

My situation is a little different, but it’s similar to the end of a long-term relationship, and I went through nearly all of what you’ve described. A few months have passed, and I feel like I’m nearing the end of whatever this is. I also reacted strongly to something insignificant, like a basketball, before I realized I needed to address it. If it’s not too personal, could you give an example of what you mean by signs of being in hypoarousal and hyperarousal? I’ve noticed situations where I’ll freeze up if I feel judged, and I’ve also caught myself stimming (rocking side to side in my chair when I’m overstimulated or stressed). I haven’t been officially diagnosed yet, but I no longer have any doubts that I’m on the spectrum.

Don’t apologize, I do the exact same thing, and I knew you didn’t want to reply unless it was high-quality. What you posted was perfect. Thank you.

For me, it’s gym shorts and a T-shirt, usually in bright colors.

The shorts are typically 100% cotton, but I also have a couple of shirts made from merino wool, which are incredibly comfortable to wear.

Take your time, I completely understand this. Thanks in advance.

What is the cost associated with Immich? I keep hearing about it, but I still don’t know how that really works I guess

This looks really interesting. It seems like it can switch between 4:3 and 16:9 aspect ratios too.

Yeah, it seems like women aren’t really being taken seriously by their doctors. I might also “super mask,” not sure. It’s awesome that you found someone who understands you. I know how difficult it is to go through life being misunderstood.

I actually don’t know what queerness means, but I’ll definitely look into it. I’ve never really cared for roles or norms and always stay true to myself. Maybe that means I’m in the same boat?

Have a good one! Fist-bump =)~

I can definitely relate! I have the Predominantly Inattentive type of ADHD and sometimes wonder if there’s some overlap with autism too. I’ve only been paying attention to how I feel for a few months, so it’s interesting to see how differently ADHD affects everyone. I honestly had no idea about the differences in stims between ADHD and autism. The sensory issues and gender differences are new to me too, so I’m learning as I go. Here’s to both of us finding our way, fellow traveler in this fight =)~

You’re wrong on this one. I’ve seen the math, and it’s better than that.

Over time, I’ve noticed a significant improvement in how I manage sensory issues, though the nature of the triggers has remained the same. My sensory experiences with ADHD differ from what might be typically reported in autism. For me, sensory overload is not constant; it’s specifically triggered by stress and diminishes when the stress is relieved. This transient nature of my sensory responses has stayed consistent through the years.

Interestingly, I’ve found that engaging in multisensory activities or even intentional sensory overload can actually be calming. For example, focusing on multiple sensory inputs—such as watching TV while listening to music—provides a sense of control and helps to regulate sensory responses rather than overwhelm them. This approach creates a structured sensory experience that can reduce feelings of being overwhelmed.

The sensation of being overwhelmed usually doesn’t stem from direct sensory inputs like noise or lights. Instead, it’s triggered by intense environmental or emotional situations. When overwhelmed, I feel a surge of mental clutter and physical tension, as if every nerve in my body is being pulled tight. While I’ve become better at recognizing when to withdraw and give myself space to recharge, sometimes I fail to manage effectively.

In moments where I can’t withdraw, it can lead to outbursts or complete shutdown. The outbursts are intensely cathartic, serving as a release valve for built-up pressure. They happen because, despite my best efforts, the sensory and emotional overload reaches a tipping point where it becomes too much to contain. It’s a constant reminder of the challenges I face with ADHD, where the boundary between being in control and losing grip can be very thin. As I continue to learn and adapt, my methods for managing these situations improve, helping me reduce the frequency and intensity of these outbursts.

I’m curious about potential overlaps with autism, as exploring these similarities might further enhance my understanding of how to navigate my own path with greater clarity.

Oh ok, we’re talking about two very different things then. That’s a very strong opinion for a simple question. I understand what you mean a little better now. Docker is better, but Windows has some weirdness going on with Docker Desktop last time I tried using it. WSL + Docker might be even better to avoid the VM stuff altogether

Almost like they glow in the dark ;)

Edit: meaning I’ve noticed similar patterns too without trying

Yeah, I agree with that 100%. I need to try smoking only at night and see how that goes.

I completely forgot there were alternatives to this.

You might have a normally functioning brain, though. This is essentially a self-medicating starter pack for people with ADHD.

10+ years of this and never regretted it. Need to use a vape pen when in the office. Synthetic urine exists.

If they’re a beginner, what better way is there to learn? My home lab and their Windows laptop running VirtualBox are two different things. The topic of security is too deep to cover now, but if they don’t open it up to the world, there shouldn’t be much risk. Local access only should be safe enough, and they might try a dozen different services before settling on one—or none at all.

Edit: Sysadmin is boring, I need to create. DevOps or some other automation role would be perfect IMO

Regarding your third point, you might find it helpful to search for beginners’ guides whenever starting a new project. One thing that people don’t seem to tell new users about is the struggles they faced when getting started themselves. Countless thousands of hours could be spent on this before someone decides to get started, while others pick it up in a much shorter timeframe. It just depends on you and what you are looking to get out of it.

It’s much more difficult than many people realize. If you need a space to test things out, I’d recommend installing VirtualBox with a couple of VMs to host whatever services you decide on. You can take a snapshot of the VM at any point in time, so when things go bad, you can simply restore whichever snapshot you like.