At your local essential oils peddler.

I find a behaviour limiter works.

With a bang.

“Sniff the cod” This is a typo right? I don’t know any better, but I had a good laugh.

A myth.

While “former president” is a correct title, the media should really use “petulant man-child” instead. Far more accurate .

Borrowing an idea from a friend:

A halfing that grew up believing he is a great and powerful wizard. His parents could never talk him out of it before he left home. So, being a wealthy family, they sent a troupe of stage hands to protect him and his imaginative little mind.

Mechanically speaking, the character is a wizard. However naratively, all of his spells involve his troupe. Magic missle? One member for each missle brandishes a knife and stabs the target. Levitation? The troupe lifts him on a platter and carries him around. Presdigitation? A costume change, or a member rapidly cleaning the mud off of the targets boot, etc…

The halfing will never acknowledge the existence of the troupe. After all, they’re stage hands. No one is supposed to see the stage hands…