The cat then returned to his mortal body. He awoke slowly and with a fading daze. He again picked up the glass of whiskey that sat beside him and again looked at the picture of them together. He smiled, raised his glass and said “Here’s to number eight.”, and once again pulled the trigger.

The snake then bit the sloth, which returned him to the infinite innocence of oblivion. (The snake then fucked his wife.)

If I found myself laid out on a blanket that was the same color and texture of my own hide, I’d be a little worried about it’s origins.

This guy looks like a mix of Joe Biden and George W. Bush.

The golden snitch.

I wonder how many minutes it took to pre-target that site with a Minuteman-3.

This implies the existence of the Purple Swamp Cock.

I can’t wait for those noise polluting fuckers to go out of business when the boomers die.

Trump doesn’t care about Christians or Republicans. The deal is, he gets to be the center of attention and above the law. In exchange, he does whatever the Republicans want. He’s too shallow, entitled and stupid to be passionate about anything except his image.

The burden of the obsequious.

“Finally!” - Pete, the incredibly hung horse fucker.

Yeah dummies, those faces Biden was making weren’t him forgetting, they were incredulous expressions in response to the lies Trump was putting out during the debate.

Unregulated capitalism already ruined the internet.

The market price for pruno is going to skyrocket in that prison.

Goofus resorts to slavery when he doesn’t want to mow the lawn. Gallant, gets rid of the lawn.

Translation: My side is losing so both sides are bad.

Gerold Ford let him in.