I got to thinking about IRC some time ago, and how much creative time we spent solving the fundamental problem of how, exactly, to use the internet without needing some sort of middleman, like a crazy person hosting a server for no clear reason, so that we could all communicate together.

That and designing the thing so that even if the hardware in your closet got hammered with a bajillion visits it wouldn’t stutter because it was all too light weight for that. But also, fuck no I would rather throw myself down the stairs than arrange it so that I have to maintain it a lot. That type of thinking defined an era, and that’s why zombo.com still works.

I have to put more maintenance into my Gmail account than the zombo guy does into the entire website, is what I’m saying. Return to monke, is what I’m saying.

Sorry, I haven’t been stealing from Tumblr like I should.

God I love shitty cosplay that still works.

Somebody shakes their head and says something about milk and pizza

He’s a survivor. He had a hunch and started walking casually toward the mountains, never to be seen again.

The stinky back of that poor tiger

The only time I get 10 hours and wake up tired is after a lot of drinking, so maybe you have other issues.

Try out Shreddit, it’s a web app for exactly this. It even lets you filter by post karma so you can keep your hits. I’ve never used it but that’s the name that came up over on Reddit from everyone talking about the announcement.

This announcement is just “oh by the way, the horse is now out of the barn. He left like 10 years ago but this is the announcement.”

Shout out to whoever dismissed the first AI writings with “It’s like a perfect Redditor. Totally confident and completely full of shit, doesn’t even know that it’s lying.”

That doesn’t happen by accident. That happens when everyone was already scraping the shit out of the site, at the very least.

This show is going to be a huge hit with line cook babydaddies.

This sounds like the battery and the charger’s problem to handle, not mine.

All this tech, all this automation for every damn thing, and people keep coming at me like I’m supposed to do everything manually with my fingers and eyes and maybe an alarm or something to keep me on schedule. No. Stop it.

Make the charger handle it, or shut up. Make the phone, the charger, and the battery handle it together, you know, with digital automation. Do not even mention it to me.

So are they aware that they’re trying to shame a joke account that’s already doing a bit?

Do they think they’re winning? Are they in on the bit? What sort of cataclysm has to happen for Twitter people to wake up and go “oh my god, I WAS THE ASSHOLE THIS ENTIRE TIME, WHAT AM I DOING HERE”?

I’m glad I get to wipe my ass with what’s left of them without having to touch their vile community, I’ll call that a win.

So what’s the verdict, are the electric unicycles cool? Have they broken the curse? They do look cool, and you better be wearing the full motorcycle getup if you know what’s good for you, because they’re fast as f too.

That’s my favorite Pixies album

It’s been very strange. When I was a child in school I was not well liked, I was fat neckbeard with no internet because late 80s. Truly I was a sad pile. They called me all manner of hateful things, but it never even occurred to them to call me short, at 5’7".

I rarely feel “short”, only average. Most men seem to be around my height. Some minority of men are taller. I still manage to tower over many women, because women be small, yo. A “tall” girl is roughly my height, so they’re either at eye level or shorter, with the occasional very tall woman in the mix.

I’m tall enough that other people ask for assistance with things on high shelves on a regular enough basis, mostly women.

There is a DRASTIC difference between how the world treats my height versus how the internet shitbag community does. Go figure, abusive people are abusive.

I can only pinpoint the 2000s, and online dating profiles where you can sort by height, plus many women having a height fetish in the exact same way that men will ask people their bra size, and the continuing popularity of the NBA, plus women wanting to have sex with the players, plus their truly freakish heights throwing off the populist curve so that anybody under 6’0 is teeny tiny. Somebody is gonna start squeaking about “6 foot is average” so sure, chief, you win. But there was a time when I just wasn’t particularly tall. Suddenly I am perceived as an actual midget.

It’s just another example of the way people constantly try to find excuses to treat you like shit over just about anything they can think of, it shows how they’re constantly inventing that. It’s one of God’s little reminders to not worry what happens to them.

Yeah, she’s spiritual. Good thing none of that is up to you.

Sir the rest of us were ignoring the mission trying to see how many cops could chase us at once and also how many of them we could murder when we let them catch up. Then they went online with it and people started wearing the game like a suit.

That may explain things.

Half the Boomers didn’t, either. It was they who got everyone started talking about the environment. They also built this fucking thing we’re typing on. Shit, the ability to divorce people if you need to was one of their biggest breakthroughs. I have no business kissing their butts, but you millennials? are fascist about this stuff and it has to end, now. Nobody has the luxury of your bullshit.

Millennials are what, 40 now? Some freelancers writing sniveling articles about avocado toast 20 years ago does not allow you to desperately look for scapegoats to blame for everything that happens to you. Nobody cares if your parents are bad people, everyone else alive does not pay for that.

Don’t fucking talk about voting until every last one of you is doing it. Fuck you for refusing to show for Clinton, THAT is on your head, so worry about your own crimes, you killed a lot of people by letting Trump through at the worst possible time, plus slacking off on all the other elections you didn’t even know existed, and if you don’t like that framing of responsibility, then fuck OFF about the baby boomers.

How many times now have I seen you little bitches no-show? How many chuds have you made wealthy? Rogan and a bunch of these other right-wing fucks becoming wealthy for stupid podcasts is on your generation for listening to them. How many times have you stepped up for anything but self-pity? How many more excuses? I don’t care if you never get to buy a house, shut the FUCK up about it. Welcome to reality for, like, 99% of the global population.

It ends. The next time I catch one of you talking about your “struggle” making 140k a year in stupid fucking Frisco, I swear to fuckin god. Everyone understands your living expenses just fine, you NEVER shut up about it, across what? 7 platforms? Somebody is making 25k in the same fuckin town, in a restaurant you’re too special to eat at, fuck your whining.

Scapegoating is a bad, bad, bad habit that your entire generation seems to share, I think it’s a trauma thing. Don’t care. I just got done hoping that COVID didn’t kill me and my whole family over some trash job that exists so you and your family can bang the order button from safety. Fuuuuck you and your victimhood, you expected us to be all cool about that while you decided to have yourself a worker’s rights movement that we weren’t invited to unless we stayed obedient to your ideas for FUCK sake. It’s your responsibility to process your trauma, it’s nobody else’s responsibility to put up with your failure to do so.

If you expect the millions of people who went under the bus for your convenience to just “get over it” and be all cool, then you will get the fuck over whatever is your problem and STOP trying to build solidarity with each other through scapegoating one group after the other. Who’s next after enough Boomers are dead? We know you won’t just drop that shit, it’s how you are, so who has to be your scapegoat next?

None of us, globally, are ever going to be free of the conservatism that seems to be baked into roughly half of humanity, that causes all this grief.

You think Boomers are bad? Some of the people on this Earth, we can’t discuss their evil without getting called xenophobic, good thing they’re all moving to live closer to you, so rise the fuck above, get over yourselves, and prepare your souls for that situation.

Maybe, with some sort of coherent political will, we might be able to get a fucking leash on the wealthy, who are always at the root of our suffering, but not so long as you and your kind get played like a fucking harp, constantly spewing casual hatred on a generation of people who ultimately had no more control than yours does, and who aren’t anymore or less fashy than you fucks clearly are. THEY show up to vote, YOU bitch and do nothing.

You’re 40! Fuck sake! This is teenage bullshit. You should have figured this out on your own by now. Enough.

Get the fuck over it, now. Tell your fucking friends. People are holding YOU personally responsible for the Palestinian genocide because you aren’t doing enough about it, so see how you feel about being in the hot seat over shit you can’t control. Motherfuckers, goddamn.

I really don’t have a passionate stance about it, I just know I called it Twitter for ages, X is shitty branding and isn’t going to work, and I stopped using the platform well before Musk took over, so I’m not doing any sort of mental labor trying to make myself use the crap name he chose.

It’s a dead website to me, and it’s everyone else’s problem that they trapped themselves on Twitter, having no career without it. I’m not doing a single thing on behalf of anybody who is still there, those are ghosts, let them howl in the attic, I don’t work here.

It’s not a human person. It’s a website full of assholes. I would make an effort for a transitioning person, but not for Elon Musk and his ham-fisted stupidity, for the folly of some wealthy prick.

It’s Twitter until I forget what it’s called.

Sharks have flooded Shark Infested Waters with shark asshole stink but this time the asshole stink is AI generated and Taylor Swift has a billion dollars for lawyers.