Grey, faded, like everything was some distance away.
Totally not for me.
Like putting a fence around the spiralling pit of doom.
This is too broad of a question. There are many SSRIs and the people giving answers have not tried them all.
And each affect people differently.
I think the question was meant as, “what do/did they feel like to you, the person answering this question”
On the right one, the sense of utter futility and doom gets out of the way. I’m able to feel normal, to do things that previously I’d put off through some sense of dread or other nonsense. Things that were hard for no good reason get reset to their normal values.
SSRI’s don’t feel like anything (if you are lucky about side effects). The depression that they replace is more of a feeling that I could describe endlessly because it’s a pit of despair that never ends.
Great explanation. If they are well dose and manages, they should feel like nothing, instead your emotions should feel a bit more manageable.
i forget what exactly i had but it was in drops. This is from a perspective of someone for whom the meds didn’t work, rather, did the opposite of what they were supposed to
First week i felt nothing, second week i thought my anxiety was getting worse and really started hoping the meds kick in soon (let’s call it foreshadowing). Week three… well i noticed that in the mornings i feel alright, then i take the prescribed amount of drops, then i feel terrible, and in the evenings i feel alright again. My doctor told me effects fully kick in after around a month of treatment, and there can be some bad side effects at first, things getting worse before they get better kind of stuff, so i kept taking them hoping they start working as intended but the thing is- it didn’t stop there. Past week three my anxiety was constant, usually it gets triggered by something i have to do and then fades but when I was taking those SSRI it never stopped. I constantly felt like i was on the edge of a panic attack. I spent my days paralysed, just sitting before my PC trying to distract myself with comfort games & comfort videos, i didn’t even feel like i could play something more challenging or unpredictable than picross or tetris. It drove me to the point where i decided that i’m gonna risk it, do some ill-advised and understudied drug mixing and smoke weed
After 3 days of being nearly constantly high I decided to stop the meds. Though i was close to the elusive month of treatment i just couldn’t keep going like that, some people can stay high for weeks on end but not me, i do actually like being sober. And at that point being sober felt like hell. I gave it a quick Google and when i read that i can quit cold turkey (you can only do it if you haven’t been taking them for longer than a certain amount of time) i did.
It was fucking terrible, 3rd type of anxiety meds in a row that made me so much worse than normal. I’ve just been rawdogging my normal anxiety ever since, well, with some help of weed, alcohol and occasional psychedelics. It’s strange that so far the only “meds” i’ve found to be helpful are uh “self prescribed” so to say
this is obviously not something that happens to everyone, majority of people react fine to SSRIs, i’m apparently just not one of them :(
I’ve been on an SNRI for a bit now, specifically a synthetic metabolite variant. Surprisingly, for me, it has both an emotional feeling and a perceived physical sensation.
For the emotional, it’s kinda like wearing a climbing harness with a trustworthy belayer. Sure, sometimes life throws a bit of a curveball, causing me to lose my emotional purchase but, most of the time, it keeps me from falling into depressive thinking patterns. More recently I had some pretty rough stuff happen in my life, to put it lightly, that took me to to some pretty places but, I my little chemical belayer caught me before I went splat on the rocks and helped me to get out of the funk.
For the perceived sensation, it’s a bit hard to describe. At times throughout the day, I feel a sensation that is kinda like a tingling on the inside of my skull. It’s a bit weird but much better than brain zaps.
I feel pretty much the same as when off of them but my anxiety isn’t nearly as crippling. There are some side effects like a dulling of emotions but to me it’s so worth it
Like all of the bad parts of a very low dose of LSD without any of the fun.
I take fluoxetine. It doesn’t have an immediate physical effect like Tylenol, Gravol, and the like. The effect builds up with time. I would describe it as feeling like “quiet”. Fluoxetine gave me the ability to quiet bad thoughts. From there, I had more stability to climb out from the pit of despair and anxiety.
The first few days (maybe two weeks or so) after starting, I slept a lot. Where I used to go to bed at 11:30pm and wake up at 5am, I was now out like a light at 8pm. My brain was finally quiet, so I could feel my body’s exhaustion.
The next thing I noticed is that I was able to let small annoyances slide. I used to be triggered by stuff like someone playing music too loudly in the bus. Instead of hyperfixating on that sound and ruminating for the entire bus ride, I could now let it fade in the background and think of something else.
After a few weeks, I noticed less crying, less blowing up at my partner, and less panic spirals. That time and energy I could now put into other stuff: chores, hobbies, socializing. I wanted to be happy and I felt empowered to make it happen, rather than at the whim of the exterior world.
While fluoxetine greatly diminished my lows, it also muted my highs. In my manic-ish days I felt “happy” for hours, and often hypersexual. Now my happiness was different, like… instead of going on fun rollercoasters and having my heart race, I was now sitting in a cozy armchair with a cup of tea and a snack, and my heart was peaceful. I do have a lower libido, which is tough on my partner. (OTOH I now contribute a lot more to household tasks, so it events out lol.) I do miss the euphoria I used to be able to feel, but I don’t wish it back because I know the price I had to pay for it.
I would describe it as feeling like “quiet”. Fluoxetine gave me the ability to quiet bad thoughts. From there, I had more stability to climb out from the pit of despair and anxiety.
The next thing I noticed is that I was able to let small annoyances slide. I used to be triggered by stuff like someone playing music too loudly in the bus. Instead of hyperfixating on that sound and ruminating for the entire bus ride, I could now let it fade in the background and think of something else.
This is the best description of my personal change as well. Medicine won’t fix a single one of life’s annoyances or solve your problems or help your relationships. What they will do is remove what I would describe as an emotional stickiness.
Like the noisy bus rider you mentioned, that alone is something I can easily deal with now. But back before medication, that frustration would just stick in my brain. And then thoughts of other people doing things from my past would creep in and stick to the initial annoyance. Every minor problem would stick to anything else I could remember, so now instead of a tiny, temporary problem, I had to suddenly deal with every problem I could remember.
Now the thoughts about unrelated things don’t creep in, and I can deal with the minor annoyance without everything else.
Other people’s comments have mentioned many other effects similar to what I had, but your comment is the only one that mentioned the persistent focus in negative things and the thought creep, or at least that’s how I read it.
But back before medication, that frustration would just stick in my brain.
Yes! Exactly that. What you call emotional stickiness I call spiralling. Before meds, once something upset me it was nearly impossible to stop. That minor annoyance made me feel anxious and upset, which in turn reminded me of other times I felt that way, and it all amplified.
I’m glad you’re in a better place. Remember, if you can’t make your own neurotransmitters, store-bought are fine. 👍
I’m glad you are too!
My partner is also on treatments for bipolar, so between us it does make planning…romantic encounters very difficult as well, but as you said too, we both prefer each other leveled out as opposed to dealing with each other at our extremes. We’d probably be a disaster if we were both doing poorly at once. We still have a very friendly love for each other though, which helps fill the gap left in the physical things. I’m sure it help that it’s similar for both of us, than if it was just one of us on mood numbers.
My experience with Zoloft: or the greatest thing that has ever happened to me:
I have autism, which led to crippling, crushing anxiety and depression. It wasn’t until my mid twenties that I broke down. I could barely hold a job, talk on the phone, I couldn’t even get a drivers lisense because I had panic attacks behind the wheel so no one was willing to even TRY to teach me anymore. Zoloft changed everything. Within a few days of taking it I was less depressed sure, but the reduction of the anxiety was a miracle. I could take phone calls! I got a drivers license! I was able to get a good paying job and get my life together. It enabled me to get therapy and a diagnosis of autism which really helped me to understand a lot of my underlying problems. I remember asking my friend, after my first successful trip DRIVING to the store, is this how normal poeple feel ALL THE TIME!!??? Not crushed 24/7 by fear so bad it would make me puke!??
Side effects: I gained a lot of weight and my sex drive took a huge, huge nose dive. If I miss more than three doses I get terrible brain zaps, and can’t do anything until I get my meds. Even moving my EYES felt like lighting through my skull.
Hopefully my mini novel here was helpful, I feel like one of the few lucky, lucky poeple who had such a good reaction to SSDI inhibitors.
TLDR: took zoloft for depression, instead it ended up being the best anti- anxiety medication I have and I am still taking it. 10/10 would Zoloft again.
Zoloft gang here too. I had some mild symptoms of serotonin syndrome when I first started taking it, but they were gone within a couple weeks and it’s making a huge difference with my anxiety. I’m also autistic & ADHD
For me personally, it didn’t really feel like anything. Kind of like taking an over the counter pain medicine, it’s not an obvious change but the pain that was there before is numbed or even entirely gone. Not noticeable unless consciously thinking about it.
It took a while to find the right dosage (roughly a year, multiple hospital visits, and a divorce from a toxic marriage), but I went from being obsessed with suicide and doing multiple attempts every day to being horrified at the thought of suicide and wanting to live as long as possible.
Do you ever think it might have been getting away from the marriage that was the ultimate antidepressant? I’m starting to think 99% of the problem is environmental (like home life) and antidepressants are medicine’s way of modulating a status quo that is otherwise not economically changeable or feasible to change
Honestly I don’t think I would have filed for divorce before the medication. I was convinced that I was not only the problem, but that I was an evil villain, and that I was making the world a better place by killing myself. Suicide was the noble and heroic action in my mind at the time, and it’s only with the benefit of hindsight, continued medication, regular therapy, and reassurances from my family that I’m able to recognize how toxic my former situation was.
What in the actual fuck are SSRIs?
