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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 26th, 2023

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  • Sam Spade knew you were trans because it’s the only thing that makes sense of the situation.

    He lures you up to his office, only to tell you he’s sending you over.

    You try to run, but he’s faster and stronger.

    You try to plead, but he just gets meaner. He hits you.

    “The cops want to pin this on me, so I’m giving them you. They won’t give a trannie a break. This may be San Francisco, but it’s also 1927.”

    The cops take you in as a material witness. They ask you questions all night you couldn’t possibly know the answer too. They beat you up.

    In the morning they let you go. The whole thing was a ploy to get the real killers off guard.

    Phillip Marlowe guessed you might be trans when he was asking you a few questions. He follows you. Day 1, nothing. Day 2, nothing. Day 3, you go into a flower shop for an hour and come out without any flowers.

    He snoops around the shop after you’re gone. There’s an illegal hormone clinic in the back room. This may be LA, but it’s also 1937. The doc sneaks in and saps Marlowe over the head. He blacks out.

    The doc gives him a triple dose of the good stuff. Marlowe wanders LA as a women for the next 4 days in a smoggy haze. He comes to in a deserted Malibu beach house owned by the ne’er do well son of a vicious billionaire. The only clues as to what happened are a torn pair of pantyhose and a matchbook to club named “Squeeze” on Hollywood with Marlowe’s lipstick on it.

    Marlowe thought he knew every club on Hollywood but he didn’t know “Squeeze” … Anyway, after a lot more stuff like that, Marlowe knows for sure you’re the murderer, but he thinks you’re alright, so he pins both murders on the heavy that killed the other guy. He had it coming anyway.