• Semi-Hemi-Lemmygod@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        They lived through the Depression when they couldn’t afford a new couch, so they learned to protect the one they had

        • TransplantedSconie@lemm.ee
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          3 months ago

          Can confirm. My grandma had a sealed couch that would protect it from stains and the like. Scum like Vance would slide right off.

        • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee
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          3 months ago

          That doesn’t make sense - how else do you get little couches if the momma couch can’t be fucked?

          But yes, you are correct about that, but I try to PSA that its not the great financial & economical depression that caused such behaviour - that behaviour is the default, the normal, what humans always did.

          Its only the extreme profit driven consumerism that followed that that indoctrinated us into the ‘buy new completely discard the old, dont think about it, it was always like this, since the dawn of time’ … a price generations are now beginning to pay.

      • ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        They just foresaw Vance’s arrival, and were trying to protect the virtue of their innocent couches from him.

        • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee
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          3 months ago

          It was foretold in the lint patterns of old, embroidered into the sofas of kinds, printed on those little inside stickers that tell you how to wash things, that one day a great couch fucker will be born, a couch fucker with pretty blue eyes & mad eye-shadow game, a couch fucker to unite both the couch fucker nation, and ottoman fucker nomads, one couch fucker to rule them all (couches, not other couch fuckers).

          But the prophecies were lost to time and legend, decayed like the crusty old jizz between the cushions, subject to decades of hateful propaganda by the evil those-shitty-massage-chair-that-dont-shiatsu-but-only-vibrate oligarchy.

          However in the end, the great couch fucker (GCF?) shall rise, and don’t do shit.
          Not for incompetence reasons, nor all the hate speech, but because love defeats all. For nothing ever compared to that first couch, the couch he took when his parents tried to throw it out, the couch that is now in his bedroom where the bed should be.

          In the end, as all great legend go, the great couch fucker was defeated by a sweet old couch that fucked, fucked good.