“The hotel was perfect but the weather was bad.” 3/5
that’s the essence of many reviews unfortunately ha
Sometimes for gits and shiggles, I’ll check the one star reviews for things I know are going to trip inexperienced people up.
Like… It’s basically the “substituted flour with powdered eggplant and milk with tobacco sauce, 1/10 tasted horrible but I followed the recipe exactly” meme
Especially anything with DIY properties. “doesn’t work, connected to the battery and it immediately blew up” when it’s clear from the picture they hooked a 48v battery into a 12v speed controller. Or cut some wires they weren’t supposed to. Or reversed polarity of an important component. Or…
And rather than admit they fucked it up, they give bad reviews.
I particularly like when the listing is clearly for something that requires assembly, and bad reviews complain it came “in pieces”. READ, YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKERS
And if you see a bunch of bad grammar, and inconsistent specs in a listing… Maybe don’t put too much faith in the $5 item that would cost $100 if you bought it from a licensed and certified source with quality assurance…
What meme? I can’t find anything because it just keeps showing me eggplant recipes.
The meme is people replacing ingredients with others and complaining when it doesn’t work
It’s probably great, but UPS lost it. 1/5. Would be 0/5 if I could give 0.
Just arrived today and looks great but haven’t had a chance to try it yet. 5/5
Handjob afterwards
I can give myself a handjob. You want that fifth star you better get to suckin.
something something Marilyn Manson something something bottom two ribs
Meh that’s an old fake story.
The guy from Whitest Kids You Know on the other hand, he fell off a balcony after successfully giving himself a blowie.
Is that actually real? Googled it and I found the accident, but nothing about autofellatio
He did fall from a balcony. His fellow wkuk cast members said he died sucking his own dick as their way of honoring him with humor.
Worth it
I worked in craft beer marketing for a while and the running joke about untapped was something like…
“Best lager I’ve ever had… I don’t like lagers. 1 star.”
One star off because the doctor is the one who hit them with a Mercedes
One way to get five star ratings would be climbing a tall building, enabling GOD MODE, and then blasting anything that moves with RPGs… At least that’s how I remember GTA San Andreas
There‘s an intrinsic bias to never (or rarely) give the maximum or minimum on a rating scale. source
I don’t bother writing a review unless it’s a one or five star. Maybe a particularly offensive two star
Saved their life, put them into crippling medical debt.
