Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it’s no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead.

You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies’ digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don’t want to go sievin’ through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm.

They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, “as greedy as a pig”.

“light mode”

Well done, you have managed to dazzle the blind.

You’re always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it’s no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies’ digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don’t want to go sievin’ through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, “as greedy as a pig”.

IIRC from last time, someone on Reddit suggested digging a vertical hole (smaller visual footprint in an aerial search), covering the body with yogurt (to speed up decomp), and then burying a dead animal above the body (to throw off the cadaver dog’s handlers).

I too, want to hide my body. Try wearing some clothes.

Depending on climate and soil type, you will need to dig a 3’wx6’lx3-6d hole. USFS land is great for this. Place nude cadaver in hole and coat with 10-15lbs of lye. Refill hole with excavated soil to approximate level of surrounding area. Disperse excess soil thinly over a wide area. Finally, cover disturbed soil with natural debris from the surrounding area, such as pine needles, leaves, twigs, etc.

It would take a couple of weeks but if you go out and vote it could function.

I love how if this were a serious post people would be up in arms. But since it’s a shitpost everyone’s ok with sharing their expertise. 😂

Just tow it outside of the environment

Very obvious…You hide the body at the cemetery

I’d tell you, but I don’t want to be on another list.

The “Weekend at Bernie’s” method seems to be working well enough already.

Mixed feelings because I want to share the correct method but doing so could prevent justice from being served.

Instead, just go with that pig method, I’m sure butchering a human body wont create piles of evidence on every surface, and truly pigs are magical machines that leave no trace of what goes in from what comes out.

If I answer that, then you’ll find all the other ones.