i went to the mall to do stuff and wanted to try on some sweaters and asked the clerk where the fitting rooms were. and this dude instantly had this quite severe sort of - disappointed stern adult look about him as he pointed me there. like, he was very sort of clean and clean shaven and had a fitted sweater and everything. and i had a hat and a beard and longish hair and i’m a young guy so like yeah i guess but still i mean dude - you work at the macy’s, wtf am i supposed to be wearing to shop at a store and speak to you?
Yeah, you asked some rando, not an employee.
Was he judging you? Most likely. Will he remember this interaction in 24 hours? Doubtful.
30 minutes more like.
You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.
They just don’t care that much - they have hundreds of customer interactions a day and the only ones they’d even be likely to remember are the funny ones or where someone has been a complete anus.
During the pandemic I asked the woman at the checkout if she’d had a nice day and she turned her hollow eyes to me and said “a woman spat at me earlier because I told her we had run out of toilet roll” - she’s remembering that for a long time. A shop assistant directing a customer to the waiting rooms is not even bothering to file that in their memory.
Speak for yourself, I judge other people hard… but I also judge myself 99% of the time… so they usually get off easy.
And if you do, welcome to having an anxiety disorder
Service workers put up with shit 10x worse than this every day. Odds are, he was probably just having an off-moment or you distracted him while he was doing a different task (neither of which are your fault). Doesn’t sound like he was judging you, or like you should he judging him for his reaction
I’m the guy from the shop. I wasn’t judging you. I was just holding in a fart and hoped, you’d move on a little quicker so that I could let it rip without an audience.
It’s because you were covered in beet juice and he thought it was blood.
You made a big mistake! Huge!
Now you need to go back wearing the most expensive outfit and carrying lots of bags of clothes from expensive stores, find the guy, and say, “you guys work on commission, right? Big mistake.”
Who gives a crap if he was?
Obviously OP does. Just because you don’t care doesn’t invalidate OPs feelings.
Kind of like saying forget about it, when it’s not really an option for some people.
No, when push comes to shove, it is an option.
I have a beautiful, beautiful example, too.
I was visiting Burlington, Vermont to see a friend in the summer of 2011. I had tried some local burritos and drank at local breweries, and I was hungover. My friend and I rode bikes in the bike path.
Suddenly, I had to poop. And not just poop. I drank too much on burritos poop. We rode to the nearest bathroom along the path. There were two bathrooms, a male and female, solo toilet with locking door. Frustratingly, I ended up 2 paces behind so e other guy headed for the bathroom. I was legit clenching to avoid shitting my pants.
Women’s room is open…
Welp, better than my pants or the bushes. And away I shit, splattering the bowl with comical reverberations.
I’m cleaning up, and I get a knock. Uh oh. The jig is up.
I exit to find a young 20-something girl. Mortified. Disgusted. Judging
“What the fuck is a man doing coming out of the women’s bathroom?!” She asked loudly so as to draw attention.
“Well, It was an emergency, an-”
“I don’t care if–”
Now normally, I’m not the kind of person to loudmouth over a Karen, but ooh boy. Something clicked.
-I don’t live here
-she has to use the bathroom
-i don’t
-it smells awful in there, and the seat is nice and toasty
So I interrupt “Ma’am I do not care. Have fun smelling my shit.”
I turned, leaving her stunned, and left to meet my friend to continue our lovely ride down the bike path.
My point is most of life’s uncomfortable situations are this moment in some way of another. Just remember that you don’t have to shit, and the seat is warm.
I wouldn’t say that proves a point.
Do I agree that in that moment you made the best decision? Sure.
Does that invalidate the woman’s feelings of confusion, anger, or anything else? Absolutely not.
Two things can be true at the same time. You did the right thing and your actions caused an emotional response of another human.
Have I never spoken to people like that? Sure I have, I was an insufferable prick when younger.
Do I now realise that you can do the right things and still impact others in negative ways. I like to take the approach of not being the centre of the world and understand that 8B other people are living just as important lives as I am.
I am not sure why people downvote this, it’s funny and indeed was an emergency.
I’d like to suggest a different reason for the likely judgement: You didn’t see the obvious (in his view) sign for the fitting rooms.
Neither of you has to be 100% wrong in the situation. Just because he spends up 40 hours a week seeing that sign and 100% thinks it is GLARINGLY obvious doesn’t mean you 100% didn’t even try looking for the sign and possibly distracted him from a (perceived) important task to make up for your laziness.
It’s a balance. You can both be 50% objectively correct or any variation of levels. The sign could have been higher or lower or a different look than you were used to AND you only glanced around and didn’t really stop to look.
I know for a fact that I’ve been on both sides of this kind of scenario. Would bet most could find one of each in their lives, too. So it’s a learning experience, remember that what is obvious/simple for one person (you/someone else) isn’t obvious to another person (someone else/you) and try to act accordingly.
But the fart comment is very insightful, you know?
In many stores around me the fitting rooms are locked and require keys for entry due to theft. I’m not sure that was it. I’m wondering if OP is overthinking the situation and the guy just remembered something semi-traumatic from earlier in the day, or saw something bad happening behind OP or something.
Maybe he wasn’t judging you. I think it just sounds like a man who doesn’t like his job.
Maybe his snooty judgement was that you were going to try to shoplift clothing. I’ve had employees make a really big point about counting my items etc at the same time as I see them just wave other people in with no big deal.
