Millennials are about to be crushed by all the junk their parents accumulated.
Every time Dale Sperling’s mother pops by for her weekly visit, she brings with her a possession she wants to pass on. To Sperling, the drop-offs make it feel as if her mom is “dumping her house into my house.” The most recent offload attempt was a collection of silver platters, which Sperling declined.
“Who has time to use silver? You have to actually polish it,” she told me. “I’m like, ‘Mom, I would really love to take it, but what am I going to do with it?’ So she’s dejected. She puts it back in her car.”
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Sperling’s conundrum is familiar to many people with parents facing down their golden years: After they’ve acquired things for decades, eventually, those things have to go. As the saying goes, you can’t take it with you. Many millennials, Gen Xers, and Gen Zers are now facing the question of what to do with their parents’ and grandparents’ possessions as their loved ones downsize or die. Some boomers are even still managing the process with their parents. The process can be arduous, overwhelming, and painful. It’s tough to look your mom in the eye and tell her that you don’t want her prized wedding china or that giant brown hutch she keeps it in. For that matter, nobody else wants it, either.
Much has been made of the impending “great wealth transfer” as baby boomers and the Silent Generation pass on a combined $84.4 trillion in wealth to younger generations. Getting less attention is the “great stuff transfer,” where everybody has to decipher what to do with the older generations’ things.
Anecdotal but so far the only “great wealth transfer” I’ve seen has been to elder care organizations, not descendants.
That’s exactly what’s happening. Parents live longer, and by the time they die, all their wealth is skimmed off by aged care providers, health care providers and various scammers.
For the low price of 6 grand a month, surprisingly well calculated to drain off their IRA’s, force them to sell their property, and close out their other retirement accounts just in time for them to meet overall life expectancy.
6 grand a month? That would be incredibly well priced. A room in a nursing home around here starts at 10k/month. If you want your own room or other amenities, it goes much higher.
What the article doesn’t say is the stuff is all there is - there’s no money. Just stuff.
So if you throw it out, your inheiritance is nothing, otherwise you have to be come an online seller which - if you’re not already you know why you’re not already.
Estate sales and auctions are where this stuff goes.
There are multiple whole entire industries dedicated to fleecing such individuals. Health care in the USA for one… Donald Trump’s campaign to name another…
There is a whole industry to transport Silent Gen and Boomer treasures to the landfill. Most commonly, a waste management company is going to park a construction dumpster in your driveway the same week you die. And there are hands for hire if your children can’t be bothered to go through your crap themselves.
There are also auction and estate companies that will try to get value out of furniture. That’s dying out though because IKEA doesn’t make furniture suitable for inheritance.
Estate companies will take the “good stuff” to auction, and house sale the rest for a few weekends. After that, there are businesses whose sole thing is buying up the remnants for their resale/thrift store. Think Big Lots but for dead people’s stuff.
I really hope there’s a store called “Dead People’s Stuff.”
“Big Plots”
🏅
I drove past this place the other week. It’s almost what you want. Shop called ‘Vintage 2 Die 4’ with the moto of “We have the best deaf people stuff”
I have hoarder grandparents… I sometimes wish for a house to go up in flames while they’re not home just so nobody has to deal with going into it.
This is the truth. Both sets of parents have dumped stuff on us often enough that we’ve had to put our collective foot down and refuse most items. Gone are the days were there might be just a few real nice items people wanted to keep, now it’s collections of Precious Moments figurines or similar that nobody wants.
It’s really hard to get rid of stuff that is still good and useful. You can barely literally give it away. I hate waste, so just dumping whatever it is in the trash is an absolute last resort. Places you would think that would take stuff are also overwhelmed and won’t take a ton of different things. Salvation Army, Goodwill…all of them have gotten picky and will refuse things even if new on occasion.
It’s really given me a deep revulsion for “stuff”. If something comes into our house it has to have a real purpose, or if it’s replacing something, the old thing must go ASAP.
Salvation Army and Goodwill don’t refuse things— I’m not sure where you’re getting that. They take their free donations, mark them up so much you could almost buy things mew elsewhere for the same price. They’re not a resale shop like Buffalo Exchange
The trick is to pack up a big box full of stuff and give it to them all at once so they don’t have time to look through it and refuse it.
They absolutely will refuse things they know they’ll have a hard time selling, and trust me they have unique insight into what people want and don’t love the idea of warehousing unsalable merchandise. Many Goodwill location’s FAQs acknowledge that they refuse to take certain things. Salvo has a whole page dedicated to why they refuse certain things.
When my grandmother (Greatest Generation) died, it took my mom (Boomer), my wife, and I six weeks to go though everything and six days (over 2 weekends) to sell it at estate sales.
She had full house decor for winter, easter, spring, summer, autumn, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. She had a giant Rubbermade bin just of tiny porcelain shoes. I’ve never seen so many candles that had been burned once of twice then put away. At one point my wife screamed because she found an access door in a closet, leading to a smaller closet. and the tiny closed had half a dozen bins full of fake flowers. The house was always pristine and never looked cluttered - she spent decades pulling off one of the better magic tricks I’ve seen.
My mom majorly downsized a few years later, and just did so again. I think she saw her future and didn’t like.
My grandmother recently died. Her son and his awful wife couldn’t wait to swoop in and take all her stuff. I actually didn’t mind though. They took all the tvs and old fur coats. Me and my brother got the pictures they left on the walls and the silly fridge magnets she liked. I think we ended up with the better stack of stuff at the end of the day.
Happy I have sane parents who consistently downsize and donate without bothering me. We had one conversation where they asked me what I’m interested in. Of course I told them to enjoy their things as they wish.
There was a painting of a beautiful waterfall landscape, painted in 1890, (verified) my grandmother and grandfather bought early in their marriage. I always admired it and it made me think of nostalgic, fond memories of growing up. My dad hated it because that was the formal room he had to sit in for time out. Yoink. It sits in my living room and inspires me every day. A happy trade based on adult conversation.
Context is everything.
Same here. My mom is into the “KonMari” method and it’s a godsend.
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It’s tough to look your mom in the eye and tell her that you don’t want her prized wedding china or that giant brown hutch she keeps it in. For that matter, nobody else wants it, either.
The reality is that we live in a world that is overinundated with stuff, and the value of things that people hold dear and that they paid a lot of money for and they think retained value is not so much, which is unfortunate,"
Woof those are both true
My mom keeps investing in diamond jewelry. I’ve tried explaining to her that diamonds do not hold their value, but she won’t hear it.
My girlfriend’s wedding ring from her previous marriage with a 8900 appraisal would have fetched a mere 1200 dollars at the jewelry exchange. Her pile of old gold was worth way more.
I have a TV armoire from the late 90s that I thought I was finally going to get rid of. I had been using it to store brewing supplies but was downsizing. My son said he wanted it so it went to storage with most of his stuff. When I was moving all that stuff a year or two later, I wanted to hauled to the dump but wasn’t sure if he remembered. So now it’s at his place and doesn’t fit at all. So I think I’m going to cut it up and toss it.
My dad just passed and I got a box of ninja swords and a telescope. He didn’t even have any pictures. I wish I had stuff to remember him by but he was destitute the end of his life.
Im sorry for your loss. But I am also incredibly curious about the box of ninja swords. Were these mall ninja swords or legit swords from Japan?
Mall ninja swords mostly. Some bokkens and knives too.
There are fencing leagues that use real swords you could try to find.
If that were me, I’d use the telescope to remember him. We’re all made of the stuff of stars. Everything inside of you is due to supernovas. Every time you look at the stars, you’re looking at what made us all, including your dad.
Yeah it is. We used to use it when I was a kid. I gotta clean it though. Thick cigarette dust coats everything he left me.
A trip to the thrift store can help. Its full of fine silverware and crystal and all sorts of nice boomer things. They will see that their treasures are worthless and can be painlessly donated or disposed of.
I get your point— but in truth thrift stores have started charging tons more in the last few years. Boomer zombies might also go “but honey look, they’re charging $1 per fork!” , which, yeah but I’m not doing a whole yard sale for your crap Mom.
“YARD” sale, like any of us has one of THOSE lol
That’s why it’s still here in the store, mom. If it was priced reasonably, they would have sold it.
(I do.)
I mean, I grew up with one , it’s not the biggest character flaw 🤷♂️
It keeps the dogs happy.
Wow, can you imagine having that?
A house that you could put “stuff” into?
Oof.
Seriously, my life has always been downsized.
Going home to parents feels like stepping into a fucking hoarders den, comparatively.
They lived in a different time period. Climate change hadn’t already happened yet, and the USA especially was sitting on top of the world, as the rest of it had been if not quite decimated then at least heavily damaged by all the bombing from WWII. And we were a socialist nation! Schools, roads, bridges, a fully functioning post office, and so much more. The top marginal tax rate was ~90% and… well anyway.
So yeah, like the Kings of Old, they accumulated “stuff”. It made sense to them at the time. Surely nothing would ever like… “change” or anything like that, would it? And they even okayed the dismantling of things like social security, and maintenance of infrastructure - so long as such did not directly impact themselves, it’s all good, right? So long as women also lose bodily autonomy, anything that went along with that is A-okay, r-r-right?!
On the bright side, do younger people have less stress, knowing that they don’t have to save up for retirement, bc they’ll surely die sooner than it would be able to keep up with anyway? Especially with inflation like we’ve seen lately?
Anyway that was quite a tangent wasn’t it? TLDR: people’s lives are so very different now, and look to remain that way permanently. And not just in the USA, but due to Brexit, in the UK too. Disinformation campaigns are strikingly effective.
Part of this seems like it’s attributable to changes in lifestyle and material conditions of younger people, relative to their parents. Different aesthetics might mean their parents’ stuff looks incredibly gaudy to them, and doesn’t go with anything else in their apartment. My parents’ home is larger than any place I can reasonably expect to be able to afford, so I also don’t want their big dining room table that I’d have to pay for storage on for years before I can afford a space that it will immediately fill all of. Even if it’s a nice piece of furniture, that’s just a pain in the neck to go through, all for something I might never get to use.
On the topic of collections, boomers just fundamentally ignore key parts of collectibility. First, old collectables only became so valuable precisely because people weren’t obsessively hording and caring for everything with the intent of selling it down the line. Old Superman comics are rare and valuable due to people who bought them at the time they first came out largely treating them as disposable. They didn’t assume they were anything special that merited being held on to and cared for, so they didn’t. When everyone and their dog buys up commemorative plate sets, or Beanie Babies, or whatever other collectable grift boomers fell for, and they take great care of them, they don’t generally see their value do anything but decrease. The supply doesn’t get significantly reduced, and everyone else can see that they didn’t pan out as the collectable investments they were billed as, so who would want them?
That said, even for collections of items of genuine worth, you mostly need to hope that whoever you’re looking to give it to is as into whatever hobby as you are. If I were planning on having kids, I think it would be pretty unreasonable to expect them to know what to do with my fountain pen collection, unless they were into them as well. Otherwise, it’s just a ton of fussy pens that seem to have a fair number of duplicates that are really only distinguished by knowledge I couldn’t expect them to take the time to go gathering. Then, it’s still a big pain to actually identify things, make sales listings and sell them off. Hell, I have the knowledge, and even I find it annoying to do so.
Maybe we could address this, in part, by normalizing expanding options a bit for inheritance. If my hypothetical kids aren’t going to know how to make heads or tails of my pen collection, but I’ve got a younger friend who is just as into the hobby as I am, it would be nice if I could just leave them that specific collection, without having to worry it’ll kick off some acrimonious squabbling. Failing that, have parents indicate who they trust to sell an item for a fair price if nobody wants it. You can take it and think about it, but if it’s just not for you, you’ve got a trusted source to sell it off for you, so you (hopefully) don’t have to go through an ordeal trying to find someone to sell it for you that will give you a fair shake.
Yeah, but there’s likely a house included in that. For some of you that’s the only house you’re going to get.
A small price to pay for having to take a load of Precious Moments to the tip.
I myself have a baby’s cot in the attic, courtesy of a mental mother-in-law. Nicotine stained blankets, the lot. I have no idea why. We don’t want kids. We have never expressed any interest in having one. It’s just taking up room. Shipped to us at great expense by somebody who I can only assume thinks she’s getting grandchildren out of this. She is not. Not from us anyway. So in the attic it will sit until she dies and then the missus can finally throw it away, safe from a random surprise inspection to make sure we still have it.
If it was left to me it would already be gone, probably into a bonfire.
What really pisses me off is that she had a NES in the room she kept this junk in. Didn’t fucking send us that.
A lot of these folks that rave about “owning their home” and about how “bad the younger generation is with money” have re-mortgaged their home to fund their insane lifestyles and owe enough that it’s just gonna be a headache for whoever “inherits” the poorly maintained asbestos farm.
First world problems
Most boomers aren’t leaving shit to us but debt and worse economy ever. What fuck is this article. Answer is sell the shit.
Answer is sell the shit.
Sell it to who? Nobody else wants the shit either, that’s the problem
Ahahahaha thank you.
To who? Aquaman?
About to be? My dad and mom are TV level hoarders. It’s going to take dumpsters to clean their houses. And very little to none of it is worth anything.
Estate sale my boy. You will actually come out ahead… it’s whoever buys responsibility to throw the garbage away.
I am thinking of doing an estate sale on myself. :-/
When we bought our current house, the previous owners had the basement walls covered with framed pictures of various things (I don’t remember what all they were - likely family and friends, that sort of thing). When we stopped by for the inspection or something, I noticed the trash was out, and one can that was open on the top was filled with those pictures.
That moment really reinforced the point that all the crappy knick-knacks we have laying around will likely also end up in the trash someday. We’ve definitely reduced our purchases of stuff like that and try to stick to stuff we’ll actually use.
Going through this with my MIL. My wife is hurt that she got cut out of the decision-making, but it has been somewhat of a blessing in disguise in that her older siblings are the ones having to handle disposal of the decades’ worth of knickknacks lining every wall in her house.
